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If you're contemplating sex with a rodeo clown in Massachusetts, watch out: The long arm of the law may be coming for you.

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Mustachioed men, Married or single Alexandria Pennsylvania sex probably best if you just avoid Indiana altogether. And ladies, you don't have to put up with your lover's bad breath anymore -- in Minnesota, you are legally protected from the smell of garlic and onions.

Think these laws are weird? We're just getting started. These bizarre rules of attraction give a whole new meaning to the term "penal code.

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As far as we're concerned, what happens at the rodeo stays at the rodeo. We're pretty liberal like that -- a solid blue esx through and through. Wait, what's that you say?

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There are horses present? Won't somebody think of the horses?!

If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times: No having sex with rodeo clowns in the presence of horses! And we mean it!

It's illegal in Massachusetts. Sleeping Beauty is so s. This is the 21st century, people: Women don't just lie around waiting for their princes to arrive!

In fact, it's literally illegal to do so in Colorado, where kissing a sleeping woman is prohibited by law. Alexandrka, guys, you'll just have to find some other way to wake her from the evil witch's spell.

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In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery, or a promise of Alexahdria.

But that's nothing compared to the rules in Ottumwa, Iowa, where you can't even wink at a pretty lady Married or single Alexandria Pennsylvania sex whom you are "unacquainted.

That might explain Bill Clinton's time in Little Rock.

Good thing he wasn't governor of California, though: Maybe this is why they never filmed an episode of Magnum, P. Mustaches are illegal in Indiana if the owner of said facial hair "has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. Is the American Dental Association behind this one?

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Men of Alexandria, Minnesota, be warned: It's against the law to have sex with your wife if your breath smells of garlic, onions, or sardines. Married or single Alexandria Pennsylvania sex, know your rights: The law mandates that your man must brush his teeth if you request it! File this one under "weirdly specific" Woman seeking sex Bethel Ohio In Wisconsin, a man may not fire a gun while his partner is having an orgasm.

Welcome to the wussification of America! Talk about a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: In Washington, it's illegal to have sex with a virgin, even on the wedding night. Once a Virgin, Always a Virgin" is not the state's official motto.

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In Hawaii, it's illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks -- which, correct me if I'm wrong, basically puts the entire cast of Hawaii Five-0 on the list of America's Most Wanted. It may also explain all the leis.

This is still better than the law of the land in Kentucky, however. In the Bluegrass State, a lady may not wear a bathing suit on a highway unless she's escorted by at least two police officers … Married or single Alexandria Pennsylvania sex armed with a club.

In Ames, Iowa, it's illegal for husbands to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with their wives. In a related story, the inventor of the wide-mouthed beer can may have been a husband from Ames, Iowa. The frighteningly comprehensive website WeirdSexLaws.

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Read the original story: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get orr news sent straight to you. Is This Your First Rodeo?

Prince Charming Need Not Apply. Plus, They're Kinda Scratchy.

Brush Your Teeth First. Even If You're Shooting Blanks.

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